“Given the choice between the experience of pain and
nothing, I would choose pain.”
― William Faulkner
― William Faulkner
This quote truly resembles my thoughts. Life is all there to
teach you lessons, to make you a better person; only if we want to learn. I met
with an accident in mountains and could have lost my life, but then I just have
to live the moment to understand it's meaning and let myself evolve. This is
story about fighting for life in the narrow crevasse, 50 ft deep, for over 90
minutes, at midnight, at 15800 ft from sea level.
It was extremely tiring walk to reach our summit camp at
15800 ft height from sea level on 15th June 2016. This was the last camp site
of the Advanced Mountaineering Course that we 35 girls were undergoing from
Nehru Institute of Mountaineering, Uttarkashi. This was the dream come true and
all the trouble was forgotten by the beautiful views of Garhwal Himalaya. The
scenes were so picture perfect and we all were so happy to reach the camp site
after the hardship of one month. Summit to Draupadai ka Danda (DKD-II) peak at
18,000 ft was the last remaining activity of the course and with no doubt, we
all girls were excited about it since day one of course.
Image: Camp 1 site and our tents
Summit march was scheduled on the next day i.e. on 16th June
and we all were supposed to get up at 1:30am for tea, be ready by 2:30am to get
packed breakfast and march towards DKD-II at sharp 3:00am. We just had half
night to get rest and I could not sleep even for a moment due to excitement and
anxiety at the same time.
Me, Anita and Kasturi got up at 1:30am as we were in same
tent. We got out of tents with the snow shoes, head torch and ice-axe to move
out to no. 2 area. We reached to the tent of our rope-mates and gave them wake-up
call. We moved to the backside of the tents and met Rashmi on the way and
started to walk further towards the designated area.
It was extremely cold out there, must be -15 degrees, I
thought. Thanks to my very warm feather jacket, windproof lower, balaclava and
hand gloves; I was all covered up and could manage with the chilling wind flow.
The view was beautiful. Moon was full and shining and snow was reflecting the
moonlight. As a result, everything around us was brightened up. There was no
need of the head torch, but still we were carrying them just to be sure of
details of the path that we were walking on.
We hardly moved 100 ft from our tents and decided to sit
over there. Kasturi was by my side and showing me the light to finalize my
location. I walked couple of steps and suddenly I found loose snow under my
left feet. My snow boot got dipped in it till the gaiters lower line. I thought
that the snow further might be even looser than this. I didn't wanted to take
any risk, hence I changed my direction while stepping my right leg. As soon as
I did that, both of my legs lost contact with the snow and I was slipping and
falling deep....deep inside the glacier. The fall was just for few seconds and
I was unable to understand what was happening. The next moment, I found my
speed to be zero. I was hold by the crevasse, who had became very narrow at
that spot. I had no idea on how deep I was, but could see that I was fallen in
a hidden crevasse in the glacier.
I shouted for help continuously for 5 minutes; till I get
any sort of response. I was quite sure that all of my friends in and out of
tents were listening to my screams as my noise level was at its maximum. Rashmi
came back running and responded that the other girls have informed our instructors
and they are coming. I stopped shouting and realized that I was breathing abnormally
fast. I was facing trouble in breathing. Our camp was at 15800 ft which already
had low oxygen level and I was stuck inside crevasse. I was getting very low
air flow from the hole I made due to fall. I had very little oxygen to inhale. I
was exhausted. Okay, the first task was to remain cool and calm, to regain my energies
back, restore them till I get out of the crevasse. I closed my eyes and started
to deep breath. This was the only option to me become mentally and emotionally normal
at such low oxygen levels. My breathing returned to normal and I heard instructors
approaching to the spot and they were calling my name from top.
I responded back to them and ensured them that I am safe and
sound. Bhandari sir took emergency situation control and gave multiple instructions
to multiple people. He asked to bring few technical equipments like rope,
slings, crampons etc., also asked to prepare hot water in kitchen.... hot
water?? I was wondering why, may be to cool me down once I am out of this
place.
"Jayshri, whats your situation?" he asked.
I was stuck, literally stuck my head to my right side, ice wall
on my back was packing me up from the shoulders till the hips. I also realized
that my legs are hanging and can move quite a distance in circle. This was
definitely not good, the crevasse was not ending here and it was continued
further. I was just somewhere in between the entire depth of crevasse. Later it
was told to me that I was 50 ft deep inside the crevasse.
The rope with figure of eight'' on one end was given to me
from top. I grabbed it, but I had no harness, no carabineer to attach myself to
it. I got hold of it with both of my hands as tight as I could and asked to
pull me up; but the instructors had no success in pulling me up. Then Bhandari
sir passed a tape sling with that rope. I was supposed to wrap the tape sling
around my shoulders and back in crossed shape which works great to hold the victim.
I tried hard to put the tape sling through my arms. My head was stuck and the
tape sling could not pass through it, it kept hanging in both of my hands on
top of my head. I communicated back that I cannot be anchored at shoulders or waist
as I am chocked from the head. The team at top realised that this is not going
to be an easy task. I was listening carefully to whatever I could hear from
them. The sounds were mixed up and I could not differentiate them from one
another. There was a discussion on what should be done and how it should be
done. Overall it was taking time and I was waiting impatiently.
Suddenly I realized that I was sliding. Oh my God! I did not
wanted to go further down and I did not wanted to slip through this narrow gap
too, as I could see that it could have been impossible to take me out if I pass
through this gap. I begun searching for any holds around me, but there were
none. I saw the loop of ice-axe in my right hand and my ice-axe was lying
horizontal with slight support to one wall of crevasse. I collected the loop in
my palms, dragged ice-axe near to me and catch hold of it. Yes, this was my
chance to anchor myself using ice-axe. I hit ice wall with the ice-axe but my
force was too low to dig it in the wall. There was no space to give a swing to
the ice-axe, as the crevasse was too narrow. I tried once again and kept
trying. It was useless. The wall was not ready to cooperate. Ice walls, where
we normally practice were much softer than this one!
"Jayshri, don't worry, Sir is coming down to your
place. close your eyes"- Dasharath sir.
Image: Shivraj sir who took risk and came down to rescue me
Image: The crevasse was wide enough only at the location where I slipped and Shivraj sir passing through it
Snow started to fall on me from top due to the movement of
the person coming down. The snow was hitting me hard, I closed my eyes and
covered my head and face with both of my hands on my forehead. There were
continuous instructions/orders/discussions ongoing. Sometimes with me and
sometimes within themselves, it was all messy to me. I was just hopeful that
someone is coming near to me, I could hear the hitting sound of crampons on the
crevasse wall. I was holding my breath and the snow was just hitting and
accumulating on me. I wanted to look up but was unable to turn my head. I could
see one crampon on my right side when sir reached sufficiently low.
"Sir, I am slipping down. I have an ice-axe which I
tried using but space is the limit" I was trying to communicate.
"Pass your ice-axe". It was Shivraj sir who was
stepped into the crevasse.
I managed to pass it on to him. He got hold of my left hand
and dropped a clove hitch in it using tape sling. I was relived as I was
anchored by clove hitch, which gets tighter and tighter with the pull. At least,
I will not go further down from here. Then people from top asked sir to drop
the hot water on the ice. There was water running down on me and I was
expecting it to be hot, but it was damn cold. The melted ice water drenched me
completely. The team tried to pull me hard with my one hand which was anchored
and were expecting some help from the hot water to release me. There was
tremendous pain in my shoulder and at the clove hitch location. The tape sling
was biting my skin and I had to cry out to stop the pull. I was still stuck up
in to the walls. The effort to melt down the ice wall was not sufficient to
release me. Shivraj sir could not do anything further and went back.
I was anxious and curious on what to do next. I was constantly
talking to Bhandari sir and Dasharath sir who were supporting me emotionally
and mentally. I was listening to their each and every instruction. I did not
wanted to miss anything or risk anything.
"Jayshri, now your rope instructor, Umed Sir is coming
down to you", I was told.
I was sure enough that he will take me up. Snow started to
hit me. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands. He came down and
tried to pull me up using my right hand, sometimes both hands. Finally he got
tired and went back. He must have reported about the critical chock of me
between the narrow gap and cannot be just pulled up in the conventional way.
I was becoming impatient and was extremely wet. I could
again listen to the multiple voices, discussions, plans and supportive talks with
me intermittently. Bhndari sir was continuously asking me not to worry and
actually, this was making me worried. I was knowing that it is really not that easy
to get out of this place. There were two failed attempts. I was sad and felt
that I will remain in this location forever. My energies were lost. I was
extremely cold. My teeth were chattering. I was tired mentally, was on the
verge of giving up and though that I will be dead soon.
I could see the right side of the crevasse, it was all
lightened up due to my head torch which I was still bearing. The crevasse was
looking beautiful, extremely smooth and endless. I was trying to figure out the
end of it on my right side, but it was getting too dark away from me. I touched
the wall on my front, felt smooth and hard texture of the ice beneath my hand
gloves. The wall was really much harder than the wall we use for practice. This
was the real one, the real crevasse, which we normally see in the movies. I
remembered the movie named 'touching the void' which was shown to us during
basic mountaineering course. In the movie, the injured mountaineer fell down
into the hidden crevasse, a really big one, and then gets out of it on his own
with shear will power. That was one inspiring story of defeating death. I
though the same might be happening to me, but this was not the movie and I may
die here in reality.
'What if these instructors fail in their plans to get me out?
What if I stay here for long and die due to chilling temperature. Oh God,
please no, I have lot of plans for myself. I have my Australia ticket booked
and need to travel to start PhD, the dream as strong as mountains! So I cannot
die now. I am yet to fulfil my remaining dreams. I cannot give up. God, please
help, why can't anybody is coming down? What all are they discussing? Have they
gave up too? No. What should I do? Sir, please, ask someone to reach me, please
take me up'.
As if they listened to me and Shivraj sir was descending
down again. Once again, I closed my eyes, covered my face on my forehead and
sustained through snow hitting and covering me. I was cold, extremely cold. Shivraj
sir reached me.
"Sir, please be fast and please take me up this time".
"Yes, I am here for you only... " Shivraj sir.
"Jayshri, don't worry....keep talking.... keep moving
fingers in your shoes and gloves...waive off hands " I was listening to top.
Shivraj sir tightened both of my hands to the rope. Once
again, the hot water had arrived.
"Put the water to the ice in her back", it was Dashrath
sir.
I guess Shivraj sir managed to do so and in couple of seconds,
the ice on my back loosened up. I sensed it and at the same time Shivraj sir
sensed it too. He shouted, "pull her up....pull....pull".
Team at top pulled me up hard and I was released from the
ice. The activities thereafter were extremely fast. Shivraj sir and me were pulled
up alternatively. I could hear multiple voices saying "good.... good.... very
good... pull ... pull .... 1, 2, 3 and up.... 1, 2, 3 up".
I was out, on the snow. At last!. I was completely wet and
was very cold. I was unable to sense any emotions of me. I was glad that
everyone was fighting their best to take me out. I was carried by four people.
I was still facing the sky but was unable to see things around me. I tried harder,
opened and closed my eyes. It was too dark outside. My position was changed,
someone was carrying me on his back, just like the 'casualty carrying'. In this
position, I could see our tents in line. All the girls were standing out of
their tents and were curious to see me. Everyone had torch in hand and the
flashes were all around me. I could see lot of faces but recognized none.
"Jayshri, can you walk?" Dashrath Sir.
"Yes", I was sure enough.
I got a shoulder support by two people and was carried to
kitchen tent in fast pace. I was overwhelmed with the planning and management.
Soon Rajika and Anita were beside me and Dashrath Sir ordered to change all of
my wet cloths. Rajika, designated as Major in Air Force, Defence, was on full
speed in her task. I guess, I co-operated well with her although my teeth were chattering
and body was shivering. Soon, I was in dry, warm cloths and inside the sleeping
bag. The nursing assistant was whole busy in arranging medical equipments for
basic health check up of me. I guess I was alright, as his face was relived
after the readings. I was offered a glass of tea. I heard Soben Sir announcing
about the approach march to summit at 4:00am.
I wanted to get ready with the other girls for the summit
walk, but my body was still not cooperating with me. I had to warm myself up.
My shoes were wet and hence instructors decided to give rest to me. I
understood that I have no chance of doing summit and I started crying. It was
so foolish to pled for the approval to instructors, but I was really not happy
to cancel the summit walk. I had waited for the entire month for this day and
was desperate to climb up. I couldn't stop crying and was requesting all to
allow me for climbing. Well, there was no chance of approval and all left me to
take rest. The weather was so bad that the course had to return from Rambo
rock, at 17500 ft. All the girls were outside the kitchen tent and I joined
them for fall in. There were tears in the eyes of my rope-mates and all the
girls were so overwhelmed to see me safe and sound.
Image: Advanced course returned from Rambo Rock. I joined them for fall in
Image: Me and Kastoori in tears. Kastoori saw me going into the crevasse